Protecting Ground Zero . . . from Strippers


On 9/11 the United States was attacked. It was a terrible time.  I recall exactly where I was when I learned of the attack. The memories of that day and the days that followed are as vivid in my mind now as they were 9 years ago.  Now more than ever we must protect such a sacred spot and with it the memories of those who died there. A terrible injustice is being allowed to desecrate the hallowed ground at the World Trade Center. I speak of course of the Ground Zero Strip Club.

You see using the FoxNews model of journalism I have discovered horrible things about the fact that a strip club is mere blocks from “Ground Zero.”  To begin we must look at the hijackers. They were 19 individuals but that’s not important. What we need to do is pick one thing about them that they all share. For instance they are all men. Now of course there are billions of other men. Most of them are nice people, but unfortunately these 19 were not and so we should be wary of all men.

You see since strips clubs are usually a place where men go for entertainment. We can’t help it. We like naked women.  But, to have a strip club so close to Ground Zero will be viewed as a victory for the terrorists.  They will be emboldened by the fact that a gathering place for men is so close to the place where men scored a devastating blow to America.  We cannot stand for this. If only men would consider moving the strip club a half a mile away it be better. Obviously 6 blocks is not offensive but 2 is just insensitive to the families of 9/11 victims.

Next, we have to look at where the funding for this strip club comes from.  I haven’t had any luck because it’s a “private” business, but I have a feeling they are in bed with the radical anti-clothing movement.  Let’s face it anything could be happening in there. Who knows how many transactions take place with small, non-consecutive, unmarked bills.  It’s all impossible to track they could be sending it anywhere. We should probably send in an undercover agent. Obviously a woman. Oh and we better make sure she’s pretty hot.

It’s time we take action. We must defend the sanctity of Ground Zero and say “No Victory Strip Club Here.”  In fact, I think what we need is a place where all people could come together. Maybe a center led by an interfaith, multi-gender group where anyone could come to pray, converse, and maybe swim.  That’s what we need near Ground Zero. Somewhere that we can begin to understand each other.

Wait!!! What am I saying?? I must remember my training, and what I learned from FOX.  You see we can’t have a place like that, because if we understand each other more apparently the terrorists win.

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One response to “Protecting Ground Zero . . . from Strippers

  1. This is a good post. I remember reading it several months back, but never stopped to leave a comment. At any rate, you raise some really good points, and I do not think the text itself obfuscates them (i.e. you’re not losing people half way through). If I were to compare this to the KFP text, I would say yours is more effective. Your word choice and usage were also good: “anti-clothing movement” made me chuckle a little (I can see the yard signs now. . .).

    Otherwise, I agree with your major point – we spend a lot of time (and FOXNews is complicit) focusing on red herrings of our own damn invention. Sort of reminds me of Sartre at times – i.e. we spend all sorts of time avoiding the real issues so as not to discover the beast that lies within.

    It doesn’t bother me one way or the other whether a mosque is or is not to be built on, around, inside of, or away from Ground Zero – arguing about that just misses the point. We need to learn to work together, and the best way to do that is to start talking.

    On a related note:
    I heard once that terrorists will have their real victory not when they see the literal destruction of our country, but when they can demonstrate to the world that our “freedom of religion” is a farce.

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