Independent Kansan Trumps The Legislature


Today, I am very proud of myself, because I have accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. I was just informed while on a walk that the Kansas legislature will not pass a bill preventing lap dances.

I want to make sure it’s true, but I hope it’s true — so that we can get on to much more important matters, so the press can stop asking me questions.

They should have dropped it a long time ago. Why they didn’t do it when the I asked them to, why they didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know.

But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue.

Now, we have to make sure it’s true. We have to watch, are they for real? Is it proper? But I hope it checks out beautifully.

I am really proud. I am really honored.

Now, we can talk about oil. We can talk about gasoline prices. We can talk about education. We can talk about OPEC doing numbers on us like nobody has ever done before.

We can get on to issues and, hopefully, when I sit down with interviews, people don’t start talking about lap dances, lap dances, like they have been doing.

So, I feel I’ve accomplished something really, really important. And I’m honored by it.

(Special thanks to Donald Trump for writing most of this post.)

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One response to “Independent Kansan Trumps The Legislature

  1. You should use quotes so I know where the Donald stops and you begin. Thank goodness. Finally, something to agree with the Donald about. I had a lap dance once in Brasil and I didn’t think it was anything I’d want anyone to know much about. It wasn’t anything more than what I had experienced in a movie theater in high school. That was pretty tame but I was really easy to please.
    In any event, where does this type of oversight end? Should they teach a few hours in sex ed class, or rail against this in middle school? Adults have the right to choose their own entertainment. I wonder if the Donald ever had a lap dance. Maybe someone should ask him.

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