I wish to think you all for reading over the past few months. I regret to announce that this will be my final post. Independent Kansan is shutting down and preparing for the end of the world. The leader of the Family Radio Christian Network, Harold Camping, has predicted that tomorrow the Rapture will occur. I do not believe I’m likely to be one of the Chosen swept off to Heaven, so it is possible that another post could occur. However, the post-Rapture period is supposed to be quite turbulent and it is not likely I will have the opportunity.
So what should a final post say? I guess I should make a confession. To Stacy Smith, I was in love with you in the 5th grade. It seems like there should be more than that, but frankly I can’t think of anything. I guess I’ve been holding onto that little love affair for far too long.
Well, to all of the 200 million Christians who are to be taken to Heaven, enjoy yourselves. To the rest of the Christians who apparently, chose the wrong faction, sorry. To all those non-Christians who are doomed, take the South Park view. In South Park, Satan is gay, and Hell seems like a pretty rocking place.
One last thing, “Macho Man” Randy Savage has recently died. I remember Macho Man from the heyday of the WWF. Days when Hulk Hogan didn’t have a reality TV show, and Andre the Giant towered over men. I even had my own wrestling name bestowed upon. Godspeed, Macho Man, you left us just a day too soon. I guess you didn’t want Jesus upstaging him. Well, I must sign off now. Thanks for reading.
Your Humble Blogger,
Matt “The Rat” Tagliani
(In case you’re wondering. My signature move would have been called, “The Bubonic Plague.”)