My blog includes a small badge that says “I belong to Postaday 2012.” In reality that is untrue, because I haven’t been posting at all. I’ve been far to focused on politics and the upcoming election. I want to change that. There are many different stories throughout the world that deserve attention. Even locally I could talk about Rick Santorum’s victory in the Kansas Caucasus, or the recent shooting rampage that an American soldier had in Afghanistan. There are also more local issues like the redistricting process that will affect the next election. In Kansas this is important because the only district that has much of a chance of electing a Democrat, may have many of its democratic voters removed. There are many more things to talk about. I would like to include a section on food. I’ve been an amateur cook for a while and would love to share some recipes with all of you. I would also like to talk about society in general. Perhaps about my disdain for reality television, or my feelings about technology, which I can’t help but love and hate. Most of all, I should belong to “Postaday2012” because I have worthwhile opinions and experiences to share, just like most of you. I hope to read yours and I hope you will read mine. Whether it is a short quote, or an in-depth analysis, we all have something to share. It’s putting those feelings out there that helps all of us grow as people. I should belong to “Postaday2012” and so should you. Happy blogging.
Tag Archives: Kansas
Today, I am very proud of myself, because I have accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. I was just informed while on a walk that the Kansas legislature will not pass a bill preventing lap dances.
I want to make sure it’s true, but I hope it’s true — so that we can get on to much more important matters, so the press can stop asking me questions.
They should have dropped it a long time ago. Why they didn’t do it when the I asked them to, why they didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know.
But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue.
Now, we have to make sure it’s true. We have to watch, are they for real? Is it proper? But I hope it checks out beautifully.
I am really proud. I am really honored.
Now, we can talk about oil. We can talk about gasoline prices. We can talk about education. We can talk about OPEC doing numbers on us like nobody has ever done before.
We can get on to issues and, hopefully, when I sit down with interviews, people don’t start talking about lap dances, lap dances, like they have been doing.
So, I feel I’ve accomplished something really, really important. And I’m honored by it.
(Special thanks to Donald Trump for writing most of this post.)
The Kansas house recently voted on a bill aimed at sexually oriented businesses. It takes traditional conservative moves against them. The bill would restrict where they could be located and when they could be open for business. Sex toys, like alcohol, are apparently more dangerous when bought late at night. This is not unusual. Conservatives don’t like what these businesses do and so they try to prohibit them from doing it. I wouldn’t get so upset about this but there is another part of the bill that is far scarier. They are trying to institute fantasy world upon us. They have launched a war against a human tradition. Missiles of moral regulation are raining down upon us in an attempt to implement an “Ozzy and Harriet” version of reality. In other words. . . they want to outlaw the lap dance.
I’m not kidding. The bill would require performers in strip clubs to stay six feet away from patrons. They also couldn’t be nude. So they want to take away the “strip” in strip club. That would be one thing but six feet. This raises a couple of questions. Why is government paying any attention to the distance I am from a naked woman, and how am I supposed to tip her? The lap dance is as American as apple pie, except that you put apple pie on your kitchen table. The government supports dance. Dance is an art form. Is it less of one if in the course of dancing you remove your clothing? I’m sure it would be fine if you were married to the stripper. It’s like saying having sex with you fiancée on the night before your wedding is wrong, but having sex with your spouse the day of your wedding is great. What? The government sanctioned ability to file a joint tax return really changed the game for you?
These people are making a choice. Why shouldn’t it be their choice to dance nude close to a someone. Why shouldn’t it be okay for them to give you some money because they enjoyed it. I go to a restaurant and I tip the server because I enjoyed the meal. The server didn’t even make the meal! They just brought it to me. These days your server rarely even does that. They have some schmuck who brings it for them. At least a stripper is earning the money.
Another good question is what good does six feet do? I can answer that. It keeps you from committing adultery. If I go into I strip club and a woman dances literally on my lap, I’m probably having thoughts that are akin to cheating on my wife. Luckily, I’m not married, but you might be screwed. That is the real reason behind this bill. Conservatives don’t like these businesses. They think they are immoral. They think we are immoral for having supported them. The modern conservative movement is constantly trying to reduce the size of government. They want the government to stay out of our personal lives. Unless, our personal lives are lives of “sin.” That’s why the government should not tell us how to live our personal lives, unless you’re a homosexual. Homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to get married, or engage in sexual relations with each other. The government better step in! Government should stay out of our healthcare. Unless you’re a woman seeking an abortion. Abortion is wrong. The government better step in! Government needs to respect the Constitution. Unless you’re a Muslim. You might be a terrorist. Government better step in! Conservatives have recently rallied that the government needs to leave citizens and businesses alone. Republican’s in Washington are holding hearings about reducing government regulation on business. Meanwhile, Republicans in Kansas are trying to make government so small that it fits inside the local strip club. Six feet away from the dancers, of course.
The hypocrisy is just hard to bear. The sponsor of this law said he was protecting “traditional family values.” Really? When was the last time you saw a family in a strip club. This law implies that people who go there are bad family members. It implies they can’t be role models. It implies that the American family is weakened because somebody saw someone else naked. It reinforces the Republican notion that sex is fine as long as no one talks about it, sees it, or hears it. I’d say they were like those monkeys, but I don’t want to talk about evolution.
If you want small government, fine. Let’s have an honest discussion, but until small government means small in any sector we won’t get anywhere. In the meantime, leave lap dances alone. If you need a reason, “Do it for the children.” A future without lap dances is really no future at all.
As I’m sure you all know that today,Jan. 29th, is Kansas’ birthday. It was on this day in 1861 that Kansas was ushered over the great divide from territory to statehood. We joined the Union as its 34th member. Nicknamed “The Sunflower State,” it was originally organized as a territory by the Kansas-Nebraska Act in 1854. Kansas entered as a free state 7 years later after bloody violence between pro-slavery and anti-slavery forces. The Capitol in Topeka features a famous mural of abolitionist John Brown. It also turns out to be the lifelong home of this humble blogger.
This is no ordinary birthday though. Today, Kansas turns 150. A landmark, and I say the ole’ girl doesn’t look a day over 112. It is fitting that this years
round of the Men’s Basketball “Sunflower Showdown” took place tonight, continuing the 7th longest rivalry in NCAA basketball. Being a born and raised Wildcat, the result was nowhere near what this blogger would
have liked, but it is good that at 150 years, in most sports, the Kansas-Kansas State rivalry is regaining its allure.
So, congratulations Kansas, and here’s to the next 150.
Well, it is official. One particular midnight has come and gone and now we all get to spend the next few months writing the wrong year on the date line. Typically people write all about New Year’s resolutions at this time. The blogosphere will be crowded with people making promises to themselves. I am not going to do this. One, if you really want to know my goals for 2011, I have a feeling you’ll ask. I have instead decided to look forward at what 2011 holds for us.
Across the country new governors are being sworn in. To list a few of my favorites: Andrew Cuomo in New York. I list him because New Yorkers we’re smart enough to not elect his opponent Carl Paladino. Paladino on at least two occasions sounded like he was going to clock the a reporter with the gall to interview him. The second time was during an interview with NPR’s Robert Segal, when he was asked about the first time.
Break out your tie-dye, grow out your hair and light a joint,California is going back to the Seventies. From 1975-1983 Jerry Brown served as California’s 34th governor. Upon leaving he prophetically stole a line from a future California governor saying, “I’ll be back.” Tomorrow, on the 28th anniversary of his first inauguration, Brown is back for his 3rd. His re-re-election brings up an important trend in American politics. If people know your name because you run for something in every election, they’ll vote for you. Well, except if you happen to be a witch.(I’m looking at you, O’Donnell.)
I could talk about my own state of Kansas and incoming governor Sam Brownback. Unfortunately, I’m to frightened/depressed/wanna-move-to-Canada to do so yet. Maybe, Brownback won’t be so bad. He has already appointed the top lawyer in the Governor’s office. That guy was an advisor to former Attorney General Phil Kline. So, I’m not really excited so far. Hey, I was wrong. At least I can talk about it a little.
Nationally, we had a very productive lame-duck Congress, after a fairly productive regular Congress. This fact combined with the unofficial start of the 2012 Presidential campaign, makes me believe nothing is happening in Washington for a while. Luckily, we still have Sarah Palin going all “Mama Grizzly” on us. So there will be something to talk about. There should be a George W. Bush Award for Providing Comic Fodder. Palin would be a shoe-in. All in all, 2011 might prove to be a calm year. There are no Olympics, no World Cup. There won’t be any true election fervor for a while, so all our Muslim and Mexican friends can relax for a bit. (Unless you live in Arizona or a few other places, like Kansas, but more on that later.)
Perhaps the most important event of all time, but probably for at least 2011 can be summed up only one way. “YOU GET THE OPRAH NETWORK, YOU GET THE OPRAH NETWORK, IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT CABLE OR SATTELITE PROVIDER, YOU GET THE OPRAH NETWORK.”
Oprah is now not just on your t.v. for a few hours. She’s got a whole network. I don’t really watch cable television so I won’t see much of it. If you want to win a car or humpback whale, the OWN is for you.
I would like to recognize just a few people who I don’t think got nearly enough press in this last year. I’m sure you all remember the 30 or so miners who were trapped in a Chilean mine this year. They endured an unbelievable event and in the end were hailed as heroes around the world. One guy who didn’t get as much press was a man named Jeff Hart. Jeff Hart flew halfway around the world from Afghanistan to Chile. His job was to drill the hole that the miners escaped through. There were countless others, from engineers to medical staff and beyond. Unfortunately, I don’t know their names, but without them not one of those miners would have ever seen daylight again. They all deserve Time’s Man of the Year award.
So here we are America at nearly 234 and 1/2. Let’s hope we make it to 235. To all our readers have a Happy New Year. We here at Independent Kansan hope to provide another year of civil argument in a world of cable-news,political-spinning madness.
Independent Kansan’s New Year’s Resolution 2011: “Count how many ways Glenn Beck says that Barack Obama is a Communist.”
I had to sneak it in there. That’s gonna be a tough one though.